1. I am obsessing about someone, they are the 'one', 'soulmate' kind of crap. Its such a cop out to think that someone else has the answers for you.... and I know they simply do not. So I am not letting myself contact my old friend. I cannot trust myself to act with honesty and integrity. My desperation to secure him to me has led me previously to manipulative and putrid behaviour that is embarrassing to think of now. For while I believe that he bought out the best in me I have no idea how to love well and honestly and openly, my inability to love myself reflects my inability to love others.
2. I am not taking care of myself, not paying attention to what I am eating and not exercising, but worst of all beating myself up for it, its such a pathetic cycle of self pity and loathing, I will endeavour to kick that in its arse because this is a conversation that I have had it with having.
3. I believe in positive thinking. I believe we create our own experience. I believe we are all in a learning environment. I believe we all must focus our attention on ourselves, healing ourselves, getting over ourselves. Learning to always do our best. This is how we will save the planet and ourselves at the same time, its a great two for one deal.
4. I believe we will be together again, when I am ready, when I dont need you anymore.
5. Everyone should give a puppy a good 'scooching' at least once a day, better than any antidepressant.
Friday, 4 May 2007
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