1. I am obsessing about someone, they are the 'one', 'soulmate' kind of crap. Its such a cop out to think that someone else has the answers for you.... and I know they simply do not. So I am not letting myself contact my old friend. I cannot trust myself to act with honesty and integrity. My desperation to secure him to me has led me previously to manipulative and putrid behaviour that is embarrassing to think of now. For while I believe that he bought out the best in me I have no idea how to love well and honestly and openly, my inability to love myself reflects my inability to love others.
2. I am not taking care of myself, not paying attention to what I am eating and not exercising, but worst of all beating myself up for it, its such a pathetic cycle of self pity and loathing, I will endeavour to kick that in its arse because this is a conversation that I have had it with having.
3. I believe in positive thinking. I believe we create our own experience. I believe we are all in a learning environment. I believe we all must focus our attention on ourselves, healing ourselves, getting over ourselves. Learning to always do our best. This is how we will save the planet and ourselves at the same time, its a great two for one deal.
4. I believe we will be together again, when I am ready, when I dont need you anymore.
5. Everyone should give a puppy a good 'scooching' at least once a day, better than any antidepressant.
Friday, 4 May 2007
Wednesday, 11 April 2007
5+ Things About My Year of Personal Responsibility
1. I am very bad at taking personal responsibility for myself
2. I want to get better at this
3. I recognize that I have created my life, my experiences, good and bad 100% of the time
4. My problems are not my mother, father or husbands fault, my friends throughout time are also not too blame
5. I am now ready to take responsibility for all the choices I have made in my life and the consequences created by them.
2. I want to get better at this
3. I recognize that I have created my life, my experiences, good and bad 100% of the time
4. My problems are not my mother, father or husbands fault, my friends throughout time are also not too blame
5. I am now ready to take responsibility for all the choices I have made in my life and the consequences created by them.
Wednesday, 28 March 2007
5+ Things I miss the most about David
1. Having a best friend.
2. Being with someone who sees the world through the same coloured glasses
3. Being with the funniest person on the planet
4. Feeling like the second funniest person on the planet
5. Feeling like all the best parts of me were being activated by this connection and energy with another and feeling like I did the same to him, it was a buzz, a drug, a high, it was always so easy to be in the moment, because quite frankly I was having so much fun where else would I want too be.
6. Feeling unjudged and loved unconditionally
7. Actively loving someone unconditionally
8. The way our energy was contagious and we had fun wherever we went
9. The way he smelled, soapy and smokey, like a clean boy in an english pub.
2. Being with someone who sees the world through the same coloured glasses
3. Being with the funniest person on the planet
4. Feeling like the second funniest person on the planet
5. Feeling like all the best parts of me were being activated by this connection and energy with another and feeling like I did the same to him, it was a buzz, a drug, a high, it was always so easy to be in the moment, because quite frankly I was having so much fun where else would I want too be.
6. Feeling unjudged and loved unconditionally
7. Actively loving someone unconditionally
8. The way our energy was contagious and we had fun wherever we went
9. The way he smelled, soapy and smokey, like a clean boy in an english pub.
5+ Things About Dogs
1. They smell
2. They scratch themselves
3. They lick themselves
4. They dont mind eating excrement or vomit
5. They prefer rotting corpses to perfume or freshly shampooed fur
6. They are always hungry and love to shame you infront of your friends by looking at them with eyes that speak volumes about abuse and neglect.
7. Their farts do stink
8. They dont bury or flush their excrement, thats for us to do
9. They like to chase cats, regardless of the cats age or superior status or rank
10. They like to chew your dirty underwear and socks
11. They like to chew your flatmates dirty underwear and socks
12. They consider digging through the rubbish to be opportunity shopping
13. They dont wipe their paws before entering the house
14. They do wipe their furry arses on the carpet
15. They eat buttons, sequins, embellishments off clothing
16. They snore
17. They bedhog
18. They wake you up because of their bedhogging, snoring, farting, scratching and licking themselves
19. They possess perfect furry cuteness, a lifesaving and neccessary attribute obviously.
2. They scratch themselves
3. They lick themselves
4. They dont mind eating excrement or vomit
5. They prefer rotting corpses to perfume or freshly shampooed fur
6. They are always hungry and love to shame you infront of your friends by looking at them with eyes that speak volumes about abuse and neglect.
7. Their farts do stink
8. They dont bury or flush their excrement, thats for us to do
9. They like to chase cats, regardless of the cats age or superior status or rank
10. They like to chew your dirty underwear and socks
11. They like to chew your flatmates dirty underwear and socks
12. They consider digging through the rubbish to be opportunity shopping
13. They dont wipe their paws before entering the house
14. They do wipe their furry arses on the carpet
15. They eat buttons, sequins, embellishments off clothing
16. They snore
17. They bedhog
18. They wake you up because of their bedhogging, snoring, farting, scratching and licking themselves
19. They possess perfect furry cuteness, a lifesaving and neccessary attribute obviously.
Tuesday, 27 March 2007
5+ Great Things That Happened This Last Week
1. Had friends round for dinner Thursday and it was effortless and delicious, my favourite combination. We had
Braised Capsicums and Chorizo on Sour Dough Toast
7 Hour Lamb with Lemon Oil infused Puy Lentils
Berry Tart with Home made Plum Sorbet, Passionfruit Sorbet and a little bit of cream
2. Had light fittings installed in stairway and landing and they look beautiful, like diamond earrings for the house
3. Won an auction on Trademe for flooring for the back two rooms, more expensive and beautiful than we were considering for budgetary reasons but thanks to Trademe we paid less than half the retail price, so we will now have luxurious hardwood floors, love Trademe, love Ebay...
4. Got given a piece of software that allows me to download and view tv from the internet, so I am completely up to date with my american pals with regards to Lost, funnily enough though I still need to keep waiting a week for the next episode.....
5. Got a fantastic pair of jeans, you know ones that make you look skinnier, taller and your butt shaplier, (this is all relative of course!)
6. My spousal unit went all shopoholic and impulse bought a 42" LCD screen, its gross, but I secretly like it
Braised Capsicums and Chorizo on Sour Dough Toast
7 Hour Lamb with Lemon Oil infused Puy Lentils
Berry Tart with Home made Plum Sorbet, Passionfruit Sorbet and a little bit of cream
2. Had light fittings installed in stairway and landing and they look beautiful, like diamond earrings for the house
3. Won an auction on Trademe for flooring for the back two rooms, more expensive and beautiful than we were considering for budgetary reasons but thanks to Trademe we paid less than half the retail price, so we will now have luxurious hardwood floors, love Trademe, love Ebay...
4. Got given a piece of software that allows me to download and view tv from the internet, so I am completely up to date with my american pals with regards to Lost, funnily enough though I still need to keep waiting a week for the next episode.....
5. Got a fantastic pair of jeans, you know ones that make you look skinnier, taller and your butt shaplier, (this is all relative of course!)
6. My spousal unit went all shopoholic and impulse bought a 42" LCD screen, its gross, but I secretly like it
5+ Things About Flatmates
1. Its better to try and get along in life without them
2. Its not that they try to be annoying its just that they cant help it
3. Its the little things that make you feel like killing them in the long run
4. One flatmate is 1/2 as annoying as 2, 2 flatmates are twice as annoying as one, and so on exponentially
5. Occasionally you will come across someone who you can live with relatively problem free, run off all their potential partners and soulmates and coddle them to yourself until you are ready to move on....
2. Its not that they try to be annoying its just that they cant help it
3. Its the little things that make you feel like killing them in the long run
4. One flatmate is 1/2 as annoying as 2, 2 flatmates are twice as annoying as one, and so on exponentially
5. Occasionally you will come across someone who you can live with relatively problem free, run off all their potential partners and soulmates and coddle them to yourself until you are ready to move on....
Tuesday, 6 March 2007
5+ Things on Love and Relationships
1. The good news, there is someone meant especially for you, someone who is your soulmate, made especially for you, knows what you're thinking even before you say anything, someone who will always be there for you in hard times etc etc, all that good stuff.
2. The not so good news, its yourself, you're the one for you, as I am the one for me, the one and only.
3. No one else can heal you, nothing else can heal you, only you can heal you, through your own choices.
4. Marriage is an archetype of survival, of dog eat dog, of ownership and property management, spiritual partnership is a connection between equals where the commitment is too oneself and ones own development,
5. Everyone feels unworthy and unlovable, learn to love yourself and accept ones own innate worthiness and whether someone else loves you or not is icing, or gravy, not the main event itself.
2. The not so good news, its yourself, you're the one for you, as I am the one for me, the one and only.
3. No one else can heal you, nothing else can heal you, only you can heal you, through your own choices.
4. Marriage is an archetype of survival, of dog eat dog, of ownership and property management, spiritual partnership is a connection between equals where the commitment is too oneself and ones own development,
5. Everyone feels unworthy and unlovable, learn to love yourself and accept ones own innate worthiness and whether someone else loves you or not is icing, or gravy, not the main event itself.
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