5+ Things About Dogs

1. They smell
2. They scratch themselves
3. They lick themselves
4. They dont mind eating excrement or vomit
5. They prefer rotting corpses to perfume or freshly shampooed fur
6. They are always hungry and love to shame you infront of your friends by looking at them with eyes that speak volumes about abuse and neglect.
7. Their farts do stink
8. They dont bury or flush their excrement, thats for us to do
9. They like to chase cats, regardless of the cats age or superior status or rank
10. They like to chew your dirty underwear and socks
11. They like to chew your flatmates dirty underwear and socks
12. They consider digging through the rubbish to be opportunity shopping
13. They dont wipe their paws before entering the house
14. They do wipe their furry arses on the carpet
15. They eat buttons, sequins, embellishments off clothing
16. They snore
17. They bedhog
18. They wake you up because of their bedhogging, snoring, farting, scratching and licking themselves
19. They possess perfect furry cuteness, a lifesaving and neccessary attribute obviously.